


The metaphor

by Antares10



Series: Banned-Together-Bingo-2020 fics [14]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Banned Together Bingo, Depression doesn't get fixed, Gen, Prompt: Doesn't Fix Depression, Sans Needs Therapy (Undertale), Sans does Therapy, Therapy, Therapy is helping, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, but there is talk about understanding and accepting it, it just takes time, talk about depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27418930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares10/pseuds/Antares10
Summary: A therapist shows Sans a metaphor about what it means to accept a part of himself. Depression doesn't get fixed here. But there are steps taken towards that goal.
Relationships: None
Series: Banned-Together-Bingo-2020 fics [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802935
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	The metaphor

**Author's Note:**

> Trying out some new writing styles. This is like 90% dialogue. XD

Sans entered the nice and bright looking room with practiced ease. He'd been here before, a few times already. He wasn't as nervous anymore as he was during the first time. The human behind the desk was smiling slightly at him, her notes in front of her, a clock on the wall showed the time and the sunlight was reflecting inside a vase on the small bookshelf next to the desk.

He sat down in the comfy chair and leaned back, ready for today's session.

Therapy was... strange. It certainly wasn't what he was expecting but he was mostly positively surprised.

“I was to try something today.” his therapist said, leaning back. “A metaphor if you will.”

Sans nodded. They had done some of them already. Things that helped him visualize what his mind was doing in response to all the things he had been through. His therapist nodded too and begun to speak again, her voice calm and sure.

“Let's imagine your life as a journey. Like, you are on your way to some nice and desirable place. Like a sunny island, complete with a drink waiting just for you. Something that fills you with joy and happiness and that is a goal you can work towards.”

Sans nodded, thinking of his house, of his family and friends, of the surface and the sunshine, of the stars that he could see now every night whenever he wished.

“And let's say, on your way there, you come at a crossroad. One road leads to the place you wanna be, our own little paradise, and the other leads to a place being just the opposite. It might be a Vulcan or a really cold and harsh place. You really really don't wanna be there so of course you want to take the path to the nice place.”

Sans imagine for a moment an empty corridor, dust and blood and a golden Flower and sharp laughter and waking up again and again at the same day, deep deja vu and the helpless feeling of not having any control at all over himself and his life and time itself bucking under his hand, not obeying him or the laws of nature at all. He shuttered.

“But there is a problem: Your path is blocked. There is a big, scary creature there, with sharp teeth and cold eyes staring down on you. And it's BIG, muscled and fur or scales and it makes a really really deep and scary sound as you come closer.

So what do you do?”

Sans blinked at that, thinking about it. Fight or Mercy, Item or Act came to his mind but he had the feeling that was not what the therapist meant.

“You can't fight the creature.”, continued the therapist, as if he knew what he was thinking. “It's big and scary and much stronger than you. Any attack you land on it will be returned in double onto you. You can't sneak by, it's eyes are big and it's ears pretty sensitive. You can't outrun it. You can't just simply outsmart it.

What do you do? Giving up and continuing on the different path that leads to unhappiness and danger? Or being stuck here with the creature forever?

You could try and talk to it but it still won't let you through. Not just like this.”

“It's still a metaphor, right?” asked Sans and the therapist nodded, smiling slightly.

“Yes. What do you think the parts mean?”

“… the journey is life, right? The good place is where I want to be. Happiness and stuff. The bad place... is where I don't want to be.”

“That is?”

“… death?”, guessed Sans. After all, the corridor is no more, the underground is empty and time was behaving normally again.

“It could be, yes. But it could also be all bad habits. Drugs and alcohol, coping via unhealthy mechanism.”

“Running away...” mumbled Sans and the therapist nodded.

“Or Running away.”

“So I can't go there... but what is the creature?”

The therapist looked at him.

“… ask yourself... what is it that prevents you to go to the good place and makes you consider the other path?”

“Myself?”

“Almost.”

“A part of myself?”

She smiled.

“Bingo. The creature is that part of yourself that is at odds at you. That wont let you progress.”

“… so... this is my depression?”

“Almost. It's all the parts of you that are symptoms of your depression but also more things. It's feeling bad and hurt, it's being sick and unhealthy, it's the nightmares and flashbacks and the bad thoughts you told me about. It's your suffering or everything of yourself that makes you suffer.”

“… so I really cant fight it?”

“No. It's part of you. You only hurt yourself.”

“… what if I show it mercy?” Sans asked and the therapist leaned a bit closer.

“In what sense?”

“Like... it's... it's a part of me, right? And I am on a journey... so... maybe we should go together? Can I do that?”

“Of course. That is in fact the solution. It's a part of you. The part that is hurting. What else would it want but comfort and acceptance? You can't just leave it behind. But you can take it with you.”

“Take it with me?”

“Yes. Look, those Feelings and thoughts? They are part of you. They are a part of you and you have to take that part of you with you. You have to threat that part with care and respect too. You have to care for that part of yourself too. To accept it and to travel with it is to accept yourself and care for yourself. And maybe the feelings and thoughts fade with time and the creature will leave you on its own. But it won't if you are mean to it or mean to yourself.”

“… so... self-care?”

“Maybe not like you usually heard about it. It's stuff like listening to yourself when you are hurt. Accept that you are upset. That you don't have much energy in the moment. To know it's something that will change some day. But to take care. To eat when you are hungry, to take your pain-medication, to do your exercise, to take a break when you feel down and tired. And still try your best to still continue on with your life. You might have to go slower but you will still be on your way.”

“… that's not really fixing it.”

“Yes. This is not about fixing anything. This is about you accepting that you have baggage, that you can't run at full speed like somebody else without the creature can. This is about acceptance of yourself.”

“So it's a first step?”

“Maybe not the first. But it's A step. A very important one, especially for somebody like you.”

“… I never saw this all in that way.”

“I know. That's why I think it's important for you.”

Sans was thinking about it. It sounded way to easy and way to hard at the same time.

“Isn't it... counter-productive? Shouldn't I try to... not hurt anymore and stuff?”

“Maybe. But can you just try to NOT have a broken leg when it's broken? Can you try to NOT have a bleeding wound when you have one? Can you really try to NOT be upset and hurt and down and exhausted and depressed?”

“… No.”

“You can't fight the creature. You can't just wish it away or make it disappear, you can't outsmart it or fight it or trick it into letting you go. It's part of you, it needs you to acknowledge that and you can only continue on together. A broken bone will grow together again, a wound can heal, and the mind... well... we can work on that one together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the banned Together Bingo 2020, prompt: Doesn't fix Depression. 
> 
> A lot parts of therapy doesn't "FIX" anything. But its still necessary to enable the patient to help to heal. The monster metaphor (the monster is here changed for the word creature to prevent confusion) is a metaphor that always fascinated me. It's about acceptance, it's about finding pity and care for that part of ourselves that is "in the way" but can ever be left behind and deserves the same care and love as any other part of ourselves. It doesn't FIX anything but it's necessary for the way there.   
> Hope I could get that across, especially with the pretty minimalist style I went here... but to be honest, I couldn't think of any other style to try this in.


End file.
